16 May, 2006

Work Sucks

Work basically sucks. Not what I do – that I love – it's that I have to work for somebody else that sucks.

Last month, I lost my great job at a game company called Screen Life. They make a great series of games called "Scene It?" as well as some other titles. It was a great job for a while. I won't get into all of the gory details except to say that, as we Aspies know all too well, too often it is not the quality of the work you do, it is how you are perceived as a "member of the team." – or not. I did great work, better than most of my colleagues and was often told so by my bosses but, that was not enough. I did not really "fit in," was "not a team player." I tended to open my mouth and voice my opinion too often. So, after one too many times, I was called "insubordinate" and fired. Se la vie.

Well, today I went back to doing part-time contract work for a guy who does videos for law firms trying medical malpractice and personal injury cases. Not the most stimulating work in the world but, it is work. I do generally like working for the guy as long as it is not too much contact with him. He is kind of an odd duck like I am and there just seems to be some sort of basic understanding between us that we are both kind of alike in certain aspects. But, it is just part time and will never be more than that.

The bottom line is this: I hate working for other people. I never really seem to be able to get ahead. I see others around me who start at the same time I do or even after who move forward and upward while I eventually find myself out on my rear. I hate having to always be the low man on the totem pole where I do all of the hard work that is forever subject to somebody else's approval who, as often as not, trashes your hours or days of work on a whim, a matter of taste, opinion, utterly subjectively with no rhyme or reason other than their aesthetic sense is different than yours - or even worse, for purely political reasons.

I truly hate office politics. I don't understand them, I don't know how to maneuver in them, I always come out the looser at the end of them. I hate the whole dang thing.

I both enjoy and really hate having to deal with coworkers and managers on a daily basis. I hate having to pretend that they are interesting and enjoyable to be around. A couple actually are but, most of them, I could really care less. Just leave me alone to do my work thankyouverymuch.

I hate having to do the office social thing. My work life is my work life, my own time is my own; I don't want to have to socialize with those I work with. Maybe the occasional lunch with one other person but, that is about it.

I truly wish I could somehow find the money to become an independent artist making my own animations and films purely for the pleasure of it.

Oh well...


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